I've come to another low in my life again.
I just feel completely worthless about everything I do. I'm such a cold, emotionless person sometimes and I find myself not caring about anyone else but myself. Somedays, I could give one shit if I trample on my friends and the people I am closest to, and then on days like this I kill myself over it.

I just see no point in myself anymore. I am sick of being who I am. I want to just go to bed and wake up somewhere else, or simply just not wake up at all.

I've been getting help for these strongly destructive tendencies for four years, just starting with a new person who will supposedly change me magically with her magic wand, but I am just done for. What can anyone do to change me, but me? And most of the time, I don't want to change. I just sit here and stare out into space, doodling shit I call art, and participate in all the musicals and the choirs, be part of the top class in my school.. but it's all just worthless. I'm wasting my time trying to be someone that people can accept.

If I showed everyone who I truly was, I don't think I would have a shoulder to cry-on anymore. In the end I'm just a lowlife, selfish, brat.
All along, my parents have been right about me. That's truly all I am.


I'm taking a break from deviant art. Hopefully I'll be back with better things to say. If you would, don't try and give me advice, or maybe just don't comment at all. I don't really listen to people that don't know what's actually going on.




Art gift for- 50% complete
Art trade with- 0% complete
Art trade with- 60% complete